!she lied don't ever EVER forget that !! Not really. I hope it helps. I think you might be using the language and concepts of social justice, specifically pro-sex feminism, to justify your desire to get your rocks off imagining your wife with other men. About a year ago, after noticing the books she was reading and the Recently Watched on Netflix, I asked her if she was interested in an open relationship. Use it to spice up your relationship. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. At the beginning, I tried to motivate her, we tried several games and toys, and in the end, I just gave up. She said No, but months later I learned she'd initiated an affair with a student, while pregnant, and telling her husband and lover that they were both the father of her child! In fact, she'd had five or six lovers during that nine-year marriage. There aint no perfect woman out there anyway. When you move back to a more urban environment, you can attend munches, sex-focused workshops, lectures, and parties to meet people in a more organic environment than apps can provide. But what does that mean ? If there’s any power dynamic to your interactions, you might incorporate it into these prep sessions by taking a role of authority and telling him what to do through the process. "It took considerable persuasion from family members to convince her of the necessity of returning the insurance payout! He is the real deal. It is in her past. I appreciate your response. The others, especially the women, are fools and/or intellectually dishonest. First thing I asked her, without judging upon people's gossips was if she had an affair with that guy and what did they do. It happens all the time, yes you would have liked it to come out in the beginning but atleast she is growing as a woman by telling the truth and hey the past is the past. How wonderful that one can suddenly declare themselves "renewed". Penises can be too large at first. He’s only got one asshole, and you’ve only got one heart. You're right. As long as she hasn't slept with any of those men since you've been together, then she has done absolutely nothing wrong. Topping can have a couple of different meanings. She most likely lied about hers because she knew numbers were important to you and that 18 would have exceeded your threshold for marriage. Most were when were dating in college, so it was a while ago. But, if she had come clean, and given him the opportunity to decide how HE feels, then it would have *stayed* in the past. She probably liked you so much she dident want to scare you off at first. It certainly works for me every time. But if it's even close to actual fact, your wife was a master liar, manipulator, and deceiver, of many. How often do you turn your man down for sex? She told me she was sorry for lying. Yahoo fait partie de Verizon Media. Instead, she decided to lie, drag it into the present and scatter it all over their future together. To order Where was the most exciting place you ever had sex? My question is: How do I find men who are interested in what I’m interested in? presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution So much family history is lost when the older generations are gone. I’ve never had a full-on domination relationship, so I don’t know if that’s what I want, but I do know that I find gentle sex—and even a guy going down on me—unappealing most of the time. I did this because I felt that going into a second marriage, I … She told me about her past (9 guys including a one night stand). I think it would hurt 10 times as much if she told you she was cheating on you with several guys for the duration of your marriage and relationship. I find her boxes of condoms laying around the house, and my favorite underwear with our dirty clothes. Thanks for your answer. Nearly half a year later, he’s been talking much more about me topping him, and I’m more than interested in diving in, but every time we try he clenches up, no matter how slowly, gently, and free from pressure I try to be (and I’m talking about 10 minutes of deep, romantic kisses and ass-eating and other such foreplay). I told her I would be open to anything as long as there was communication. But I Have a Secret. As disappointing as that news might be, whether the marriage works is all about now and tomorrow. I have found family pictures that no one now even knows who is in them. What this man is hurting about is that the woman he chose to marry ended up not being who she pretended to be. We have been living together for a month since our separation because neither of us have anywhere else to go. She probably feels very upset you think of her that way. My wife of 35 years and I have widely divergent feelings about her premarital sexual history: I’m completely turned on by it and love hearing about her experiences, but she’s fairly tight-lipped about discussing them with me. I am a mid-20s gay man in a serious relationship with an older man, which started as just the usual casual sex buddies. She never told me, she lied about who she was with and where, and the worst of all: She does enjoy sex, just not with me. The way you are reacting now is probably the way you would have reacted if she had told you back then. As in, “I’m not going to give you my dick until that ass is wide open.” He can also be the active partner while you penetrate him, if it’s easier. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. Photo by Monsterstock1/iStock/Getty Image Plus. My husband is an actor who used to hang out with pro ball players. My wife enjoys talking about her past lovers because she knows how it excites me. She told you this now out of her love for you, and not wanting to keep anything from you, and that took a lot of courage on her part. "How do i tell her i dont care about her past?" Besides, 18 sex partners for a woman really isn't that many. I desperately want to have sex with other people. Our marriage was going great before this. And your attitude, well, it's a great example of a man oppressing a woman sexually, though at first that idea may seem shocking to you. I recently ended my relationship with my girlfriend of five years. If your wife doesn’t want to talk about it, you’re wrong to beg, demand, or otherwise coerce her into changing her mind. Cloudflare Ray ID: 5ec6c4bf3f6ed9b0 You don’t mention therapy in your letter, but also make sure he is getting the help he needs to process his trauma outside of his romantic life with you. My (36M) Wife (34F) told me about a one time event from her sexual past, and I can't get over it - verison 2 [new] I posted this yesterday and was getting some really helpful advice, but I … You've,got ever right to get out if you want. While you might not think so at the time, as you get older there will be things you and your grandchildren will want to know. I never got that memo. I told my husband I am very upset by simply hearing he wants to have a good discussion with me without having even heard about the divorce word. I think you inferred far too much based on the information given.... And actually, I think you missed the point. It still hurts to think about but we've been able to put it behind us and have patched things up. Sit down with her and tell her that it was okay what she did and it kind of turns you on what she did and ask her if she would like to do it to you while you do it to her. In the meantime, separate your laundry and stop looking in what will be her hamper. He even offered to call me back to save my phone bill if you can believe that. For both small town and big city, it’ll be helpful to articulate your desires and boundaries to yourself in a word document. And really, it’s simply unreasonable to expect your wife to recall details of sexual experiences from more than three decades ago. Well, I have a different take here, and I hope you will take some time to think about it. She told me she was, but that she didn’t dare ask because I didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would be interested in that. And, she didn't lie by omission. You can cancel anytime. Sex does matter,if you don't know that you maybe ought to look for a new career. She planned on telling me the truth shortly after but kept holding it off, and it got harder and harder to tell me. I am trying to just think of the present and future with her, but it is tough.

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